One of the worst times in my life

It was in late August 2019.

Things seem normal at the office. A mailman came to have me sign Certified letters. While reading the letter, my heart started to pound harder and faster. At the end of the letter, I did not know what to say. My mind was confused and my physical body lost strength.

In the days to come, I found out I was a victim of fraud. The person I trusted for almost 4 years, the person I prayed for, the person I counseled to work on his marriage, the person I brought to my house for dinner a few times,  the person I loved as a brother has been betraying me.

After a few months of legal procedures, my organization lost thousands of dollars. I went into depression and blamed myself. My leaders consoled me because they were fooled as well (although some joined the organization after I started working with the individual.)

I questioned God. I prayed, I worshipped, I spoke with my confidants, I cried. I thank my wife for being there to listen to me, to encourage me and to lift up my spirit in the midst of the dark situation.

In spite of this tragedy, my relationship with the leaders of my organization got even better and the foundation of trust got stronger as we worked together in the process. They believe in me!

During the following months, God showed up in my life in many different ways. I learned things that I would have not learned without the incident. I found out that in the midst of seemingly bad situations, our hearts and our minds could see things differently.

Out of desperation, our hearts become more open to hear what God has been saying to us. Our eyes become clearer and enable us to see the moves of God. Out of the dark situations in life, wisdom arises.

A brighter perspective

I found out also that in times of adversity, we become resilient. Our perspectives are sharpened as we deal with unforeseen circumstances. Our spirit yields to God as He teaches us His ways and builds our character and faith.

Miracles along the way

Miracles seem to come more frequently, as if God is saying, “I’ve got you!” Literally, there were times when unexpected provisions and resources would come and would surprise both my wife and me.

Although we lost a lot of money, what hurt me the most was the betrayal. It is still hard for me to fathom how an individual could do such a thing to a person who trusted him and loved him.

God is with me all the time

Dwelling on it was not my priority. Instead, the incident drew me closer to God. I meditated more on the Word of God and His promises. I worshipped more and I got closer to God. Although I made the mistake of not doing my due diligence at the start of my working relationship with the perpetrator, I matured in dealing with people.

I learned many things in the process and took a lot of notes about it. Sometimes, I think that God had allowed it to happen to me so I could pass along the teaching to others. It would have been worse if this occurrence happened to others who would grow bitter and resentful to others.

Although I forgave the person, I know God is the final Judge and He promised in the Bible that revenge in His – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:9 (NIV)

It took me a while to decide to write this. I wrote this as a precaution for you and as an encouragement for those who were victims of this person and also victims of a similar issue. (Just a few days ago, I spoke with an individual who worked with him during the same time period and he did the same thing to her.)

I pray for this person that he would wake up from the lies of the enemy. I pray for his family, his innocent children who knew nothing of his way of life which could affect their future.

I thank those who have been with me in this process. I thank our family friends who provided not only prayers and moral support but also financial help. And lastly, I thank my wife for being there for me and for believing in me.

As I am still processing this unfortunate incident, I realize how God’s grace protected me; it could have been worse. God is always with those who love Him and fear Him.

As I read the Beatitudes I am starting to understand – that one of the worse things that happened to me could be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

 

God bless you,

Merlin

 

 

Merlin GonzalesOne of the worst times in my life

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