All posts tagged: spirituality

Is It God’s Will or Just My Own Desire?

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I have this issue…

Maybe you’re struggling with it too.

How do you know for sure?

How do you know you’re truly on the path God has for you?

How do you know you’re truly on the path God has for you? You trust in His promises, but doubts creep in—”Am I just making this up?” or “Is this really from God?” Sometimes, it’s hard to discern if the voice you’re hearing is God’s or just your thoughts. And you wonder, will the answer come now or in the distant future?

Uncertainty clouds your mind. And in moments of challenge, these questions often become the core of our faith journey.

Let’s dive into Deuteronomy 30:9-14, where God offers clarity and reassurance about His will, promises, and our path forward.

“9 Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, 10 if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.”

God gives the Israelites a clear promise of blessing, prosperity, and favor, along with a commandment to obey His word. (Prosperity is not limited to financial abundance, though that may be part of it).

The Promise:

Verse 9 emphasizes God’s desire to make His people prosperous in all areas of life. This includes:

  • The work of their hands (their labor and efforts will be fruitful).
  • The fruit of the womb (their families will thrive and multiply).
  • Their livestock and crops (their livelihoods will flourish and provide abundance).

God’s blessings are comprehensive—He wants to bless their work, their families, and their land. The phrase “The Lord will again delight in you” is a powerful reminder that God longs to have a deep, joyful relationship with His people, as He did with their ancestors. He delights in blessing those who obey Him.

The Condition:

Verse 10 tells us a condition. Obedience is the key. God desires not just surface-level compliance but wholehearted devotion—obeying Him with all your heart and soul. This means a deep, sincere commitment to follow His ways and live according to His will. The blessing is not automatic; it requires a turning of the heart, a commitment to live by the commandments given in the Book of the Law.

The Simplicity of Obedience:

When God gives us command, we also provides us ways to accomplish His will. In verses 11-14, God is reassuring the Israelites that His word is accessible and close to them. The commands are:

  • Not in heaven (so they don’t have to send someone to fetch them).
  • Not beyond the sea (so they don’t have to travel far to understand them).

Instead, God’s word is already with them. “The word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.” This means they already know what to do—the commandments are present within them, the ability to obey is within their grasp… and the promises are sure.

Is it God’s will or is it our own desire?

I hope this short exposition of the passages gives us more clarity and builds our faith: God desires to bless His people, but these blessings are tied to their obedience and their wholehearted devotion to Him. The commandments are not meant to be a burden or an unattainable goal. Rather, they are near, familiar, and possible to live out daily.

In essence, God is showing that obedience leads to blessing, and this obedience is not out of reach. It’s not a distant or impossible task—it is simple, close, and achievable through the heart’s willingness to follow Him.

True clarity often emerges in the darkest moments.

God’s promises are sure, and when we obey His word, we align ourselves with the flow of His blessing, favor, and delight. The fulfillment of His promises—prosperity, joy, and abundance—are always contingent upon our choice to live according to His will with all of our heart and soul.

Merlin GonzalesIs It God’s Will or Just My Own Desire?
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Laptop from Heaven

On December 10, 2024, I had another spiritual encounter—one that tested my faith and taught me about trust in the unseen.

That afternoon, I had returned home after running errands at a hardware store. As I unloaded my purchases, I made a startling discovery: my laptop case, which I always carry with me due to the important information stored inside, was missing. Panic set in immediately. I frantically retraced my steps, remembering that I never leave my laptop in my vehicle. Surely, it must have been lost somewhere between the checkout counter and my vehicle.

As I unloaded my purchases, I made a startling discovery: my laptop case, which I always carry with me due to the important information stored inside, was missing. Panic set in immediately. I frantically retraced my steps, remembering that I never leave my laptop in the car.

I quickly called the store, hoping someone had turned in a laptop case. But their response was disheartening: no one had reported finding one. Filled with anxiety, I drove back to the store to check for myself.

When I arrived at the Customer Service desk, they confirmed what I feared: no sign of my laptop case. Determined not to give up, I scoured the entire parking lot, examining every cart in sight. But despite my efforts, the case—and my laptop—was nowhere to be found. Throughout the day, I called the store multiple times, hoping for good news. Each time, the answer was the same: no, nothing had been turned in.

Desperate, I decided to file a police report. The detective assigned to my case was empathetic and assured me he would do everything in his power to find out what had happened. He even followed up several times to gather more details. His concern brought some comfort, but the worry still gnawed at me.

Later that night, I managed to reach the store manager. He told me that the police had already contacted him, and he had alerted all of his employees to keep an eye out. He promised to let me know if anything turned up.

That night was agonizing. I spent hours remotely clearing sensitive files, trying to protect my personal and business accounts from potential identity theft. My mind raced as I considered the implications of losing so much valuable information. Sleep was elusive, as I battled with thoughts of what could happen.

The next morning, I woke up with my mind still in turmoil. Yet, amidst the chaos, I held onto the words of Jesus: “Do not worry.” I repeated this to myself over and over, convincing myself that somehow, everything would be alright. I didn’t know how, but I trusted that it would.

An hour after arriving at my office, the phone rang. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was the hardware store calling. I just knew they had found my laptop. Sure enough, the voice on the other end confirmed it—the case had been located.

Later that afternoon, I rushed back to the store with a mixture of hope and relief. As I walked down the aisle, I spotted a woman approaching me, her face warm with a smile—and in her hands was my laptop case. In that moment, all the anxiety and fear melted away. I thanked her profusely and asked where they had found it. She explained that an employee had discovered the case late the previous night, abandoned in a cart at the back of the store. I smiled and, overwhelmed with gratitude, said, “I believe in miracles.” She grinned and responded softly, “Merry Christmas.

Standing there, holding my laptop, I felt more than just relief. I was reminded that, even in the most uncertain and worrisome moments, there’s a greater plan at work—one that I may not always see, but I can trust.

In the days that followed, I spent time in conversation with the Lord, reflecting on why He allowed this to happen and what lessons I needed to learn. As I thought about the sequence of events, it seemed impossible that a person collecting carts could have missed my laptop case. The store had been thoroughly searched, every employee notified, and even the police had gotten involved. Yet, despite all that, the case was found.

I choose to believe that God returned my laptop, whether it had been stolen or simply left behind. The most curious part is that I cannot clearly remember whether I left it in the cart or if someone took it while I was shopping. What I do know is that my prayers changed the outcome, and God showed me favor in how the story ended.

This was not the first time such an incident had occurred. It was the third. On each occasion, something I had lost was returned to me, always with details too unexplainable to ignore. There is no doubt in my heart that divine intervention is real.

Praise God, and I am grateful to the angels who assist and protect me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Thank You, Jesus!

Merlin GonzalesLaptop from Heaven
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You are Not the center of it all…

I received a call in September 2021.

It was a surprise call. ” Would you like to go to Israel…, all expenses paid?“, a friend of mine asked. I thought he was kidding! No one would offer someone an all-expenses paid 10-day trip to Israel, especially, I haven’t heard from him for a while.

It was for real!

After exchanging phone calls with my friend, I knew it was for real. However, I tried not to be too excited because it was too good to be true. In spite of my feelings, I went ahead and prepared everything for the trip in December – my passport, my credentials and everything. However, just 2 weeks before we were to depart, the COVID restriction did not allow us to leave.

I was bummed out!

This is not going to happen

I was right“, I said to myself affirming that this trip was not going to happen. I was bummed out nonetheless. Then right after Christmas, my wife and I contracted Covid. Then in late January, my hope was renewed when I received an email from the sponsoring ministry – @IsraelCollective that we are going to Israel on Feb. 7th!

My hopes suddenly raised up to higher expectations!

On Feb. 7th, 2022, I found myself in an airplane en route to New York on to Israel.

At Mt. Of Beatitudes overlooking the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan Riven and Bethsaida.

Days later, I was taking pictures of the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan River, Jerusalem, the Temple walls, Bethlehem, etc.

Perhaps I will share with you more of the details of my trip but this blog is not about my trip…

… it is about what God is doing in our lives.

It was not solely about the journey

I believe in popular saying to enjoy the journey. However, after my wonderful journey to the Holy Land, I found out it was not so much about the trip…

… it was about God’s message to me. It was not about the location but about the condition of my heart… about my personal relationship with Jesus. Although I can say that I walked where Jesus walked and proved to myself that there is a Dead Sea and the Mt. of Olives, what hit me the most was “the Jesus in flesh” – the people who chose to be in a land where most people thought it was a peaceful place, a holy place in the earth.

On contrary

Most of us thought Israel is a peaceful place to live. It is not! While I was there, Syrians launched missile to Israel but they intercepted it. We visited the borders of Lebanon, Syria, West Bank and the Gaza Strip… I can tell you from what I gathered, Israel is in turmoil more than the US. As Steve Khoury, a second generation Pastor of the largest Arab Evangelical church in east Jerusalem and the Palestinian territories, wrote in his book, “It the Backyard of Jesus” Close encounters with death haunt me everyday, keeping me in touch with the reality that without Christ my battle is already lost.

However, I felt safe walking alone at night in the small and dark streets of Jerusalem or Tel Aviv than the streets of Indianapolis, the surrounding countries are at war against them. Somehow, the rich history of Israel, mainly the Jews in the Old Testament, the birth of Jesus and the expansion of Christianity, the Muslim conquest of the Levant that led to the submission of Jerusalem in 637-638 AD, the series of religious wars or the Crusade that started in 1099 AD and countless religious, political and cultural interactions, the inhabitants learned to live in diversity.

Our lives

There are random things that happen to our lives and we try our best to fit them in our small boxes. Sometimes we make our judgment based on our limited perception and experience. We live a world where ourselves come first before others. However, the Scripture says we should honor others – It is better to give than to receive, to be first, you have to be the last, treat others as you would want to be treated…

God is the center of the universe, not us.

So in this short  message, I hope that you saw what God is doing in our midst. He is omnipresent and knows what we are going through in our lives. You and I are not the center of the universe… it is God!

Merlin GonzalesYou are Not the center of it all…
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An unusual day

I still remember when the government first announced the severity of the spread of the pandemic.

A historical event

March 13, 2020, was the date that many of us will remember. It was the day when President Trump declared a nationwide emergency due to COVID-19. As I was trying to keep up with the news on Thursday, March 19th, I watched a TV broadcast about a priest who was doing a drive-by confession.

“He might do it”

The next day March 20, 2020, I stopped by my church to visit my wife; she works there. The streets were clear of traffic for a Friday morning. In the church building, there were only a few people around. “The pandemic is real”, I told myself as I was phasing back and forth on a church hallway. As my pastor was passing by, I told him how innovative was the priest who came up with a drive-by confession. He smiled as he said (because he said I might do it) that a vacant Starbucks building at an intersection close to the church could a great drive-thru prayer. However, even before he finished his sentence, I thought came to mind that it would be a great drive-thru food pantry.

A burning building

The thought of a drive-thru food pantry stayed with me for the next 2 hours until I decided to drive by the building to check it out. I have been to that same building several times when it was open. It had been vacated and empty for about 2 years. I remembered when they closed it, the leader of the missional food pantry at my church came to me and asked for my advice if he should ask the manager to donate the coffee tables and chairs. He found out that they were giving it away since they want to have new coffee shop furniture at their new location – no more than 100 feet away from that building! But that day was different. I had a feeling of certainty. I parked my car in front of the building.

It seemed to me that the building was burning… in my heart.

I saw a sign in the front of the building that it was for lease and the number to call. Without any hesitancy, I called the number. A leasing agent answered me. I told him that I would like to turn the building into a drive-thru food pantry since many people have been laid off and it would be a strategic location since it is one of the busiest intersections in that part of town.

He said that he will speak with the Starbucks contact and will get back to me. I thought he was just trying to get me off the phone. I said to myself, “That was the end of my vision”, and I did not expect any callback.

The bush was not burning!

By around 4 pm, my phone rang! The leasing agent said he has someone in line to speak with me. I had mixed emotions at that point… “Was my idea a flop or is it from God?” As I was being introduced to an executive from Starbucks in Seattle, Washington, my head was computing data at the speed of light!

After a brief introduction of all the parties involved, I share my vision with the Starbucks executive, “We are not asking for money”, I said. I shared my vision that it would be a great community service if his company would allow us to use the vacant building as a drive-thru food pantry. “It would be a great help to the residents of the community where they’re doing business”, I added.

To my surprise, the executive said that he will speak with their legal department for consideration.

Merlin GonzalesAn unusual day
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One of the worst times in my life

It was in late August 2019.

Things seem normal at the office. A mailman came to have me sign Certified letters. While reading the letter, my heart started to pound harder and faster. At the end of the letter, I did not know what to say. My mind was confused and my physical body lost strength.

In the days to come, I found out I was a victim of fraud. The person I trusted for almost 4 years, the person I prayed for, the person I counseled to work on his marriage, the person I brought to my house for dinner a few times,  the person I loved as a brother has been betraying me.

After a few months of legal procedures, my organization lost thousands of dollars. I went into depression and blamed myself. My leaders consoled me because they were fooled as well (although some joined the organization after I started working with the individual.)

I questioned God. I prayed, I worshipped, I spoke with my confidants, I cried. I thank my wife for being there to listen to me, to encourage me and to lift up my spirit in the midst of the dark situation.

In spite of this tragedy, my relationship with the leaders of my organization got even better and the foundation of trust got stronger as we worked together in the process. They believe in me!

During the following months, God showed up in my life in many different ways. I learned things that I would have not learned without the incident. I found out that in the midst of seemingly bad situations, our hearts and our minds could see things differently.

Out of desperation, our hearts become more open to hear what God has been saying to us. Our eyes become clearer and enable us to see the moves of God. Out of the dark situations in life, wisdom arises.

A brighter perspective

I found out also that in times of adversity, we become resilient. Our perspectives are sharpened as we deal with unforeseen circumstances. Our spirit yields to God as He teaches us His ways and builds our character and faith.

Miracles along the way

Miracles seem to come more frequently, as if God is saying, “I’ve got you!” Literally, there were times when unexpected provisions and resources would come and would surprise both my wife and me.

Although we lost a lot of money, what hurt me the most was the betrayal. It is still hard for me to fathom how an individual could do such a thing to a person who trusted him and loved him.

God is with me all the time

Dwelling on it was not my priority. Instead, the incident drew me closer to God. I meditated more on the Word of God and His promises. I worshipped more and I got closer to God. Although I made the mistake of not doing my due diligence at the start of my working relationship with the perpetrator, I matured in dealing with people.

I learned many things in the process and took a lot of notes about it. Sometimes, I think that God had allowed it to happen to me so I could pass along the teaching to others. It would have been worse if this occurrence happened to others who would grow bitter and resentful to others.

Although I forgave the person, I know God is the final Judge and He promised in the Bible that revenge in His – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:9 (NIV)

It took me a while to decide to write this. I wrote this as a precaution for you and as an encouragement for those who were victims of this person and also victims of a similar issue. (Just a few days ago, I spoke with an individual who worked with him during the same time period and he did the same thing to her.)

I pray for this person that he would wake up from the lies of the enemy. I pray for his family, his innocent children who knew nothing of his way of life which could affect their future.

I thank those who have been with me in this process. I thank our family friends who provided not only prayers and moral support but also financial help. And lastly, I thank my wife for being there for me and for believing in me.

As I am still processing this unfortunate incident, I realize how God’s grace protected me; it could have been worse. God is always with those who love Him and fear Him.

As I read the Beatitudes I am starting to understand – that one of the worse things that happened to me could be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

 

God bless you,

Merlin

 

 

Merlin GonzalesOne of the worst times in my life
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