All posts tagged: spirituality

One of the worst times in my life

March 15, 2020 Merlin Gonzales Testimony

It was in late August 2019.

Things seem normal at the office. A mailman came to have me sign Certified letters. While reading the letter, my heart started to pound harder and faster. At the end of the letter, I did not know what to say. My mind was confused and my physical body lost strength.

In the days to come, I found out I was a victim of fraud. The person I trusted for almost 4 years, the person I prayed for, the person I counseled to work on his marriage, the person I brought to my house for dinner a few times, the person I loved as a brother has been betraying me.

After a few months of legal procedures, my organization lost thousands of dollars. I went into depression and blamed myself. My leaders consoled me because they were fooled as well (although some joined the organization after I started working with the individual.)

I questioned God. I prayed, I worshipped, I spoke with my confidants, I cried. I thank my wife for being there to listen to me, to encourage me and to lift up my spirit in the midst of the dark situation.

In spite of this tragedy, my relationship with the leaders of my organization got even better and the foundation of trust got stronger as we worked together in the process. They believe in me!

During the following months, God showed up in my life in many different ways. I learned things that I would have not learned without the incident. I found out that in the midst of seemingly bad situations, our hearts and our minds could see things differently.

Out of desperation, our hearts become more open to hear what God has been saying to us. Our eyes become clearer and enable us to see the moves of God. Out of the dark situations in life, wisdom arises.

A brighter perspective

I found out also that in times of adversity, we become resilient. Our perspectives are sharpened as we deal with unforeseen circumstances. Our spirit yields to God as He teaches us His ways and builds our character and faith.

Miracles along the way

Miracles seem to come more frequently, as if God is saying, “I’ve got you!” Literally, there were times when unexpected provisions and resources would come and would surprise both my wife and me.

Although we lost a lot of money, what hurt me the most was the betrayal. It is still hard for me to fathom how an individual could do such a thing to a person who trusted him and loved him.

God is with me all the time

Dwelling on it was not my priority. Instead, the incident drew me closer to God. I meditated more on the Word of God and His promises. I worshipped more and I got closer to God. Although I made the mistake of not doing my due diligence at the start of my working relationship with the perpetrator, I matured in dealing with people.

I learned many things in the process and took a lot of notes about it. Sometimes, I think that God had allowed it to happen to me so I could pass along the teaching to others. It would have been worse if this occurrence happened to others who would grow bitter and resentful to others.

Although I forgave the person, I know God is the final Judge and He promised in the Bible that revenge in His – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:9 (NIV)

It took me a while to decide to write this. I wrote this as a precaution for you and as an encouragement for those who were victims of this person and also victims of a similar issue. (Just a few days ago, I spoke with an individual who worked with him during the same time period and he did the same thing to her.)

I pray for this person that he would wake up from the lies of the enemy. I pray for his family, his innocent children who knew nothing of his way of life which could affect their future.

I thank those who have been with me in this process. I thank our family friends who provided not only prayers and moral support but also financial help. And lastly, I thank my wife for being there for me and for believing in me.

As I am still processing this unfortunate incident, I realize how God’s grace protected me; it could have been worse. God is always with those who love Him and fear Him.

As I read the Beatitudes I am starting to understand – that one of the worse things that happened to me could be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

God bless you,

Merlin

A Wallet from Heaven

October 9, 2019 Merlin Gonzales a Study on God's Dominion, KIOM

The day before Faith Hope and Love Community (FHL’s) annual fundraiser dinner was very busy.

As you may know, many details encompass the planning for such an event, but it was important to my team to hash out the details necessary to make the dinner a success. After accomplishing our plans for the day, my wife and I treated ourselves to a relaxing dinner. However, when it was time to pay, I discovered my wallet was missing!

A queasy feeling

Assuming I had left the wallet in one of our FHL trucks, we decided it would be best to just wait to retrieve it the next morning when we arrived for setup-the day’s events had left us very tired! The next morning, though, I was dismayed to discover that my wallet was nowhere to be found. This worried me greatly, but I was tasked with assisting with setting up the venue. Throughout the rest of the day, I searched the vehicles I had travelled in the day before inside and out, even searching through the venue several times thinking I had perhaps left it sitting somewhere. That lingering anxiousness stayed with me for the next few hours. Finally, my wife finally told me to forget about my wallet and concentrate. I decided she was right. The angel of the Lord would just have to deliver my wallet back to me.

The fundraiser proved to be an excellent distraction. It was an evening filled with powerful stories and life-changing testimonies, including stories of miracles.

When the guests were gone and everything put into its proper place, I started the drive back to my home around midnight. Suddenly, I remembered my wallet! Immediately, the feeling of anxiousness and dread came rushing back over me. The thought of my personal information being open to a stranger was interrupted by a “thump” on my windshield. For some reason I can’t explain, I thought that perhaps this could have been my wallet! After pondering this for several minutes, I decided to turn around, (thank God for round-abouts), and I drove back to where I heard the sound. My hope began to fade as my methodical search did not reveal my wallet. Besides, I couldn’t figure out how it would have suddenly shown up anyway. I got back into my car to go home, but I felt the Lord’s nudging to go back. Hesitantly, I turned around saying to myself that this would be the last time.

Choosing what to believe

I turned on my hazard lights and got out of my truck. After about 2-3 steps I saw on the side of the street what seemed like a piece of paper and not thinking anything else, picked it up. To my surprise, it was a copy of the FHL tax-exempt certificate! I had inserted it into my wallet to have ready to show to certain merchant who offered us an exemption to rent the tables we needed for the annual dinner.

A surge of energy radiated all over my body! It only took me a few minutes after that to find all my credit cards, pictures and my wallet! It was a moment when I knew that heaven invaded earth!

I called my wife immediately and as I proceeded home, I tried to remember how, when and where I lost my wallet to dispel the notion that indeed, an angel of the Lord had brought my wallet back to me.

Moments like this give me confidence that God uses such times to build our faith in Him. I believe He chose that moment to, ‘drop my wallet from Heaven,’ to give me assurance that He is intimately involved in my life.

Beyond life’s circumstances

Our God is a God of miracles that can go beyond space and time, and infinitely out of the bounds of our limited minds and experience (Ephesians 3:20). This experience reminded me that whatever happens in my life or my ministry, He is in control and I have nothing to worry or be anxious about. The same is also true for you, and your worries and cares. We can trust in the promises of God, no matter how absurd or illogical they may seem to be.

God is with us and He is good all the time.

Update: When my wife read the story, she had vision of an angel and the demon who stole my wallet fighting in the sky and the angel got my wallet back and threw it in my truck.

Living in synchronicity

March 22, 2018 Merlin Gonzales blog

“‘Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.‘” John 5:19

A Vision

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” was the focus of my meditation this morning.

A plethora of angels filled the sanctuary, hovering in the room. An angel placed a glistening golden crown on my head. As soon as it touched my head, a regeneration process started.

The glow from the golden crown slowly flowed from the top of my head down to my feet. Another team of angels came from the right side with glorious intense bright light in front of them. The glory moves as the angels move closer. The glory in front of the angels reached me.

Suddenly, I was consumed by the light and became one with the light. The light was so bright; all I could see was intense brilliance. I sensed the angels continued to move and the glory filled the entire sanctuary. Gradually, my eyes were transformed to see through the brilliance that filled the room. I saw multitudes of people receiving their golden crowns from legions of angels. They were all transformed as well. My vision became so vivid and saw everything surrounding me. Beautiful multi-colored flowers, tall trees that reach the blue sky above, mighty mountains and below me were liquid golden streets.

A new creature

The transformation that happened made me a new creature in Christ. The regeneration grace that flowed within me changed the wiring of my brain, my veins and arteries were cleaned as well as my stomach and intestines. My joints were lubricated and my skin was renewed. An overhaul of my soul, spirit and physical body revolutionized the way I experience my existence. Not only my eyesight had changed but my perception as well; my entire experience of the world shifted to another dimension. My internal processor was reconstructed and I became a new creature.

Dual reality

Somehow, I saw a glimpse when Jesus said that He only do what He sees the Father does and only say what He hears the Father says. Jesus lived in two different and opposing reality simultaneously. He acted on things based on what God is doing. Is this because He and the Father are one? The Scripture indicates that He is not the Father. Jesus had intimate relationship with God. His obedience made it impossible for Him to do anything separate from the Father. He was acquainted with the ways of the Father. He lived here on earth as the Father lives in heaven.

As new creature, would it be possible for us to concurrently live in two worlds, spiritual and physical? Could we exist in the heavenly and earthly dimension at the same time? Jesus said that we have the same Spirit who lived within Him. He also said in Ephesians 2:18 that we have access to the Father by one spirit. He also said in John 14:12 whoever believes in Him will do the works He had been doing and do even greater things because He is going to the Father.

Back to work

My experience that morning lingered throughout that day. On my way to my office, I had an exhilarating drive, smiling to everyone and noticed that my vision was much clearer – not so much about my eyesight but the perception of my surroundings. I felt light, content and joyful. At lunch my taste buds were more sensitive; the food was so incredibly delicious. I felt releasing love and receiving love from everyone in the office.

Could this be just my imagination or was the transformation that happened in the morning meditation was real? How can I be in perpetual awareness to my new self as a new creature and experience the dual reality at the same time? The opposing world – heaven and earth lived synchronized in the present.

Doing good is part of the pact

August 20, 2016 Merlin Gonzales a Study on God's Dominion, blog, KIOM

Many times Jesus led His disciples in doing good.

Action speaks louder than voice

Acts 10:38, “how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.”

Our model

The early disciples knew that Jesus went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with Him. He was a promoter of outreaches. He did not stay in synagogue or places of worship but he went around to show everyone God’s love in every realm of their lives – spiritual, physical, financial, emotional, etc.

Jesus set an example for His disciples to follow – love others both in word and in action. He would normally go ahead of the disciples to show them how to help others, how to pray and how to be supernaturally natural – the basics of expanding the Kingdom.

Jesus did not stay behind a desk or in the temple and just gave instructions to His disciples to do the job. He did not just organize things, wrote the vision and the plan, nor just did the research and came up with a timeline for his disciples to implement while He evaluate their progress. Instead, Jesus presented the Gospel in its fullness.

His generation

In order to get the message into the minds of people, Jesus told the story of a man who was going on a road less travelled from Jerusalem to Jericho – because it is a dangerous place where robbers and thugs hang out. He concluded that this man was attacked by robbers, took everything he had including his clothes and left him half dead. Then, a priest happen to pass by the same road, saw the man but passed by on the other side. Later, a Levite passed by and did the same thing. Soon, a Samaritan passed by and helped the man immediately and made sure the man was taken care of afterwards. (Luke 10:25-37)

Our generation

Consequently, it’s not hard to locate places like that road from Jerusalem to Jericho in our cities. Last year, the former Indianapolis Mayor identified 6 most dangerous Indy-area neighborhoods. Recently, IMPD created an equation called Social Disorder Index to identify which areas have the most crime and which crimes are occurring in those areas. Similarly, the priests (preachers) and the Levites (those who assist the religious people) of our time would normally drive by these neighborhoods on a regular basis. But how many times have we seen clergies giving a cup of cold water to one of these little ones (Matthew 10:42) or praying for healing at street corners?

My experience working with leaders and pastors, reveal that the majority are very active in delivering persuasive speeches to influence the thought and conduct of an audience. They use many venues such as places of worship or different forms of media and the Internet. They come up with different trainings, conferences, religious jargons and fancy phrases. They are so compelling and yet, we can hardly see most of them in the hood. They are very good in casting visions and in creating plans for others to do. Although it is partially true, our generation has accepted the norm that leaders should lead, assess the situations and train others who in turn would implement his or her plan. The leaders were supposed to rally the people and get them excited but many of them stay behind a desk or a podium. They were to train and to equip their people but your can hardly see them model what they teach out in the mission field.

His ministry

Based on the examples of Jesus and on the action of the early disciples, the Gospel spread quickly, people received healing (both physically and spiritually) and the disciples were trained more effectively. By being hands-on and by putting what they learned in action immediately, the disciples were able to come up with what the society needs and better solutions to cope with the rapid growth of the movement.

Normally, while Jesus was busy doing good, the Pharisees and Sadducees were busy criticizing Him. One occasion Jesus told them “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3) Stop criticizing and analyzing; just to do it. Jesus may say, “You will learn more as you do the ministry and revelation will come as you experience My teachings.”

“But I have sermons to prepare, I have budget to balance and I have training materials I have to finish”, some leaders may say. But Jesus is saying to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)

Jesus did the unusual not because He wants to be different but because He was influencing the people to accept the dimension of the Kingdom – in words and in action. His prayer was “Thy Kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven” – doing and being. Doing is part of the pact!

Our “personal” ministry

It behooves me to encourage you to experience the blessings in serving in the field. This not to say that you are not but to continue to lift you up as you do ministry. Not only you would experience the favor that God has given you but also to witness the manifestation of your prayers. As you see miracles happen before your eyes, you would have more testimonial of the presence of the living God inside of you (not to dazzle people with you experience, but to exhort them in their faith). It would help you to evaluate your spiritual walk as you engage in “ministry” and help validate your personal ministry. You will see the true picture of your calling and you will be amazed how God collaborates with you as you do the stuff.

God bless you,

Merlin

Session 7: Experience it!

June 16, 2016 Merlin Gonzales a Study on God's Dominion, blog, KIOM Study

The worship for our last session was led by the Jesus House. After the worship, we had dinner together catered by Olive Garden restaurant.

There are many ways to “Experience” God’s Dominion here on earth. One of them is through serving, so some of the class participants shared their planned outreaches during FHL Week on July 24 – 30:

Prayer Table out in a public place
Discovering the beauty in nature through the eyes of the children
Adopt a Block to connect with the residents
Street Outreaches

There are many more outreaches that were shared and more are still in the planning stage. We talked about the importance of SWOT to evaluate our projects and services. Evaluation of the projects could be as important as the project itself. We need to find out the project’s Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat.

We had the actual graduation after a brief class discussion. I am so proud of all of you! The completion of the class is just a step in your deeper spiritual walk with God. As we learn more about His character, we will experience more of the Kingdom here on earth.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your spiritual journey. I am looking forward to join you on your outreaches soon!

Listen to Session 7

Part 1

Part 2

God bless you!

Merlin